To Text or Not To Text

Do you ever hesitate to reach out to someone who is going through a tough season? Having been on the other side of that scenario, I have a suggestion. Send a text, but phrase it in a way in which a response is optional, rather than an obligation.

For example, an offer of help is usually phrased something like this, “I’m running to the store. Is there anything I can pick up for you?” Instead, consider saying, “I’m running to the store. If there’s anything I can pick up for you, let me know.” Since it was phrased without a question, there’s no obligation for an answer – which matters when someone is feeling super overwhelmed.

Here’s another example: “Thinking of you. How are things going?” As simple as that question sounds to the sender, formulating a response can require A LOT of energy if the recipient’s current circumstances are quite complicated. Instead, you might simply say: “Thinking of you today.” You could add something like, “Always here if you want to chat.” Again, no question was asked, so the recipient is free to respond IF/when they have the bandwidth to do so.

These suggestions may sound trivial but, for someone who is feeling depleted, those little differences matter.