Not Feeling It

I’m not feeling it.  I’m not feeling new mercies this morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).  I’m not feeling joy in our trials (James 1:2) and I’m not rejoicing in our suffering (Romans 5:3).  Today, I’m feeling frustrated because, despite my best efforts, we keep ending up in the hospital.  I’m feeling helpless because we’re starting to see a pattern of decline in Brylee’s health and body and there’s absolutely nothing that I can do to stop it. And I feel sad because of the many, many other children here who are also suffering.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I am “less than” as a Christian when these negative emotions start to feel overpowering.  I know that’s not true, so I did some searching.  I found verses that helped me so I’m sharing in hopes that they help you too.

Psalm 34:18 states, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.”  Notice that it doesn’t say that He is ashamed of the brokenhearted.  On the contrary, He draws near. God doesn’t expect us not to feel profound sadness sometimes. 

In Psalm 88, David says things like, “I am overwhelmed with troubles” (vs 3).  “I am like one without strength” (vs 4).  “You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths” (vs 6).  In that last one, it even sounds like he’s blaming God for his troubles.  David was once referred to as a man after God’s own heart.  As far as I know, that wasn’t retracted because he later vocalized his frustration.

These are just a few of the many verses that, at the very least, show that God knows that we are going to have times when joy is overshadowed by life’s troubles, times when verses about endurance will fall flat.  It does not mean that we don’t also have faith.  It means that we are human and that life this side of heaven is hard.  Hang in there.  You are not alone.